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A fat lump stands there,
blue eyes and fair,
fattylegs fatty thighs,
fat arms, she just crys.
Diets don't work,
Thoughts still lurk,
she stops the food,
Stares at her body nude.
Words repeat in her mind,
but she can't unwind,
a constant "ana will help",
is repeated in her fragile state.
She eats, she purges,
All for her skinny urges,
She's addicted to this strange drug,
she's broken because of this strange drug.
End end the pain she now suffers,
End the addict she is,
End the bledding,
End the pain.
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I have resolved the crisis with me and my cousin! I told him that I was embarressed for throwing a chair at him and he says he was embarressed too to be this close to hitting me! all is forgotten! I am sooooo tired! I am going to have to sleep now! My french classes are so frustrating, why can't I just pick up the language. urrrrrrr! I have started self harming again! I want to release my frustration rather than keeping all my pains and thoughts inside of me! I want to stop it now! I hate it, but I just don't feel pain I am so frustrated! I have a door, it's under my floor. beneath my achrimatic ceiling, for all my haunting feelings, Ther's a girl, who is lost in this world, she sits in the dark, behind my door, she screams the pain but the door doesn't open. The dark blood runs, She still doesn't feel the sun, She feels no pain, the anger burns too hard, blades and glass to her skin, still don't remove her pain for long. The former words from the world, Called her to ana, she dreams of perfection, Now she's different, now she's different! She needs to punish herself for being fat, for the release of pain! She hides in the dark, No-one knows her remarks, they don't hear her, they don't see her, There's a girl in my mind! Current Mood: busy
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Helo girlies- how are ypu all?,
I feel so relaxed now! I went to a resort this weekend! It is such a releae from the pressure of this countries culture and the conservaty of the everyday dress! The resort was all westeners! My parents were really relaxed on what I ate! All I ate was 5 watermelon slices for two days! My mum didn't say anything! I feel so relaxed!
doing my ballet city workout 2!
Anyway it's now two days after that resort and I am starting the 2,4,6,8 thingy. except I think I WIll end up eating 700 cal instead of eight! I think my matabolism will get a wake up call and burn bun bun! today Is the two hundred calorie day! I have had 70 so far, it is 16:42 where I live and dinner in the boarding house will be coming up in about ten minutes! I don't feel like eating now I just want to sleep! I am only going to have a tiny bit of salad! I have weiged it already! that wil make it just under 140 calories. After 8 days of this 2,4...... thing I am going to try 1,3,5,7, and see how that ges for our days!
At the boarding house two of the older kids were busted last night! They were out at 12:00 (school starts at 7:00) when the house mother came upstairs to look on the balcony! They were puffing away with cigarettes, but uhoh! all the parents have been called up! but for god sakes these kids are 18 years old, why call their parents. She didn't even speak to them today! Trying to stay out of their way now, the house mother and the kids! Tags: uh-oh
Current Mood:  crazy
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